Hmmm ... not half bad - C4's Hang Ups

It's not often I see anything to raise even a wry smile on Channel 4.

C4's schedule is crammed with awful home-grown rubbish for thick people - such as Bake Off (nicked from the Beeb), Hollyoaks, Come Dine With Me, and endless repeats of US sitcoms.

But Hang Ups is not half bad. It's well cast and well acted.

It's about a stressed and relatively new therapist, Dr Richard Pitt (Stephen Mangan), who's trying to cover his debts by offering counselling sessions by video link to various people who are crazy in the coconuts. 

Best (i.e. most darkly entertaining) of Richard's clients is a hard man Neil Quinn (played by Steve Oram) to whom the therapist owes a lorra lorra money.

Mangan carries the show with entertaining displays of his character's stressful life, personal dysfunctionality and VERY irritating family.

This sitcom has a most whizzy pace, which is at first distracting, but ultimately adds to the dark comedic charm on offer throughout.

There are plenty of outrageous sexual references - good, and commendably British, of course! - and the best of those are delivered in a deadpan way by Richard E. Grant, who is the therapist to our therapist protagonist, played so expressively by Mangan.

It's a comedy that says something quite profound about the breakdown of social and family relationships in our contemporary, digitally obsessed society. Well, we might as well laugh - as our world is clearly heading for Hell in handcart.

Hang Ups,  which is also co-written by Mangan, is an adapted version of an US comedy TV show called Web Therapy. I haven't seen the US original, but I've heard the British version is much better - and somehow I have no difficulty in believing that.

UNtelevision - the show no-one dared make

Even back in 1990, I could tell that British TV was becoming ever blander, and turning its viewers' brains to mush.

So with my friend, Diane, I decided to do something about it. We created this pitch (below) for a new and very different kind of telly show, and sent it off to commissioning editors at Channel 4, and (I think) BBC2.

We hoped our idea would be picked up and the show would get made. At the time, I was the 'outspoken' TV critic for ITV's ORACLE Teletext service. Sadly, our idea for a show called UNtelevision never got turned into reality. 

Instead UK telly continued its decline into cultural cack and moron fodder such as X Factor and Britain's Got Talent, and endless dumb-ass cookery shows.

Shame. But do read our pitch below for UNtelevision. It should raise a few titters. And maybe such a show will get made one day. One day ... 

Introducing … UNtelevision

UNtelevision is the TV show for people who hate TV. Probably Britain’s biggest minority.

UNtelevision is TV with a sneering face. Two sneering faces, actually.

UNtelevision scorns tricksy graphics and fancy camera work. To be honest, it doesn’t much care for the visual at all. But it is well-written.

UNtelevision is basic. It doesn’t pose and it doesn’t offer a platform to poseurs. It despises most rock stars and all showbiz fluff-heads. It does not accept the premise that someone (however thick they might be) is a ‘celebrity’ ... just because they’ve appeared regularly on the telly!

So just what is UNtelevison?
It’s a weekly show, presented by Sam Brady and Diane McD, who aren’t exactly strangers to British TV but who feel it is suffering from terminal blandness.

Sam and Diane are young(ish), bitter and twisted. You’d be if you’d had their lives.

UNtelevision is anchored in their untidy ‘front parlour’. Their introductory chat on each show sets just the right tone of cynicism. These are the regular features of UNtelevision …

· GREEN – “live” from an endangered ancient wood in Sydenham, Sarf London, including a weekly visit to the home of Darren, Britain’s last surviving forest fairy. His mind, like his habitat, is heavily polluted.

· ISLINGTON BISTRO – we join Upper Street’s Sancerre set, who tell of the pain of inner city living in Thatcher’s Britain.

· YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS – an old fart insists you stay long enough to hear his all-time favourite LP track.

· TURN OFF – poisonous TV reviews by Sam and Diane.

· I WISH – the show’s totally straight and serious bit. Live from Wigan, from the traditional wish-making statue in the town’s park. Each week a notable person publicly makes a wish and explains why in a simple and moving ceremony.

· SHUT UP, SU POLLARD – the ultimate game show. Who can shut this woman up?

· Also, these occasional features – GET SEXY! …. NOT RICHARD AND JUDY … VALERIE SINGLETON SPEAKS.

For more Information contact Sam Brady (landline numbers supplied, no longer operable).